plans of action

I know I'm onto something,
now that the words are not enough... I have been distracted
and compelled
and depressed
and inspired
by so many words these recent days that it has come as stark relief to feel myself feeling way beyond words - stopped and started in my tracks by the cavalcade of understanding that has arrived on the Santa Ana winds - fires raging, sun blazing, cool floor beneath my feet. The truth of these and all the other wordless things of my day
after day
speak for themselves nicely
thank you very much
and all I have to know is that
I am ready to use the words required to tell the story of me, just the truth
maam
mama
without needing to know that anyone else hears me... as long as the right action I employ gets me where I need to go, validation from anyone else is finally
quietly
not required.

Which makes me laugh, of course, as Rose dances around me to the Pepto Bismol commercial blare-selling from the tv... if I'd only known that I'd find the confidence and fortitude to tell my truth once I was living without a need for words to explain it all.

I have crab cakes to make now.